I SUPPORT MARRIAGE EQUALITY

I participated in the “March on Springfield for Marriage Equality” rally on Tuesday, October 22, 2013. Why would I do that?! It was definitely a cold and gloomy day. Also quite rainy. I suffer from neuropathy and my leg already was aching; I knew I’d be hurting more if I went. I’m not a lesbian. So again, why did I participate? Why did I go out in the cold rain with an aching leg when I could have stayed in the warmth of my home with my loving husband?

I participated in support of the many friends I have who are “gay/lesbian” but, more important, are human beings just like you and me. One is an artist, a couple are teachers, a few work for the State, one is a lawyer, one is a postmaster, several work in healthcare. Some are family. Several had to marry in other states. A few have civil unions. A few have children, either biological or adopted, and nurture beautiful families. When I think of them, “gay” is not what defines them. They are regular people, just like you and me. I can tell you this for sure: My marriage and my lifestyle have never been threatened or ruined by their relationships.

I participated because I believe that love is love between two consenting adults and marriage is a fundamental human right. Same-sex couples cannot participate fully in our society if they are denied the legal rights and cultural privileges offered to heterosexual couples through marriage.

I participated because it saddens and sickens me to hear stories of people who cannot be in a hospital room with their loved ones when they are sick and/or dying, because they are "gay" and not “family.” Imagine for a moment if you had a child or spouse who was dying, and you could not be there with them. That’s just bullshit, isn’t it?!

I participated in honor of my parents’ gay friends – longtime family friends who were part of my life as I grew up – now long passed, who probably never even imagined the day would come when they could marry the person they loved and have equal rights.

I participated to support those who are afraid to be openly gay in a society that judges them by their sexual orientation. Imagine for a moment that you could not proclaim love for the person who means the most to you, in fear of judgment or persecution. What kind of society is that?

I participated because I believe gays/lesbians should have the same rights that you and I do to insurance, pensions and survivor benefits. When your spouse dies, you receive their pension and life insurance. Imagine for a moment if you built a life with someone for many years, they pass away, and you are denied the economic stability of their pension or life insurance because you were not allowed the right to be married. Again, more BS.

I participated because I don’t want to be on the sidelines, only posting my support on Facebook, talking the talk, but not walking the walk. I don’t want to be a fair-weather friend. I believe this is an important social justice issue and it’s time to give equality to all.

Even though I didn't actually march (I was part of the drumming), I was there, holding my sign that said “Marriage Equality For All”. I want my children, my grandchildren, my great grandchildren - all of my descendants - to know that I was there to support same sex marriage.

 )O(

MY MEMORY OF SEPTEMBER 11, 2001

It was a beautifully sunny, crisp fall-like morning. My Mother was seriously ill, and my sister Carolee and I were taking care of her. Carolee took care of her on the night shift while I did the day shift, so I could be home at night with Alex and George. Carolee and I always met as we changed shifts, discussing what was going on with Mom, what needed to be done, etc. That morning we didn't get a chance to talk much. As I walked into my Mom's kitchen, and the Today show was on the TV, as usual, I saw the two towers and smoke. It was right after the first tower had been hit; the second one hadn't been hit yet. I wondered what had happened, not recognizing the World Trade Center, and thinking it was in a foreign country. I went in to see my Mom and she was lying in bed watching the news. "Something's happened," she said.

The whole thing seemed so surreal, to begin with, being there with my severely ill Mother, not really knowing if she was going to make it from day-to-day. I, myself, was still reeling from a life changing injury that left me with permanent nerve damage, and shook my world upside down. Then seeing the tragedy on top of it, it was just so unreal. For a brief moment, I really thought the world as I knew it was coming to an end.

My first thought was Alex. I called the school and was assured everyone was OK. Called Susan and we decided school was the best place for Julia and Alex at the time. Called Geo and they were letting all government workers leave for the day, so he was going home. Made sure the rest of my people were safe and sound.

My Mom and I spent most of the day in her bed watching it all unfold. Suddenly she had a craving for bread pudding. She had been experiencing trouble eating, so whatever and whenever we could get her to eat was good. She came out into the kitchen with me and watched the endless news reports while I made bread pudding for her. Stirring the eggs and vanilla, cutting up the bread, strategically placing the pats of butter, plumping the raisins, liberally pouring on the cinnamon, nutmeg and sugar - it was comforting doing something "normal" when things were definitely anything but. We decided to call it Patriot Pudding. We were truly uncertain about what was going to happen, but we were together and, for that moment, we were safe and secure at home.

I will always associate 9/11 with my Mom and bread pudding. Side note: My Mother rallied from being sick that time, as she was known to do, and lived for three more years after that. She died on 11/9, at 9:11.

)O(

NOTES FOR 2009

Not in any particular order -

GARDEN:
Plant -

• Hydrangeas - you've been wanting to do this for a long time. It's time.
• Hyssop - I'm not sure why you wrote this down, but you did.
• Beauty Berry - Callicarpa - this is the bush you saw at the Zoo in St. Louis
• Green beans where the pond was. I think I'm going to be sad that Geo no longer wants to maintain the pond.
• Don't plant veggies in the shed garden - it's too shady.
• Plant tomatoes in the special tomato grower thingie - yes, it's expensive but dammit, you should have great tomatoes.

HOLIDAYS:

• Bake pumpkin bread. You make a lot of people happy with this.
• Decorate - woo 2008 was almost the Christmas that wasn't. Thankfully Geo pushed the tree. You have stuff to do the outside with - do it. No reason you shouldn't decorate - you've got lots of stuff!
• Catalog ornaments
• Send Christmas cards - yup, it's a pain, but you enjoy receiving them, don't you? Add Jeff & Tony to your card list.
• Have a party for your neighbors. No one did it in '08 and you enjoyed the party in '07, even though it was work. December 14th would be a good day.
• Nutcracker December 7th 8PM. No exceptions.
• Do a better job on New Year's Eve!

IN GENERAL
Strive to be happy!

A disturbing new fashion trend

Susan and I went to the Mall today. I think the last time I was there, besides Linens & Things, World Market, & Ruby Tuesdays (I don't count those three because they are on the outside of the Mall and you don't have to go into the Mall to get to them), was Halloween 2007, when Alex and I were trying to find things for his Mad Hatter costume. Anyhow. Same Christmas decorations they've had since the 1980s. You'd think the different Mall properties could share decorations and mix things up a bit. Anyhow, I digress. We went in the door at Macy's South Entrance, which lands you in the Men's department. I like the Men's department because I enjoy buying clothes for Alex. However, we saw the most disturbing thing: khaki pants with embroidered pheasants scattered all over them. OH My GOD. The ultimate prep look?! They were horrifying. Made by Ralph Lauren Polo. We couldn't stop laughing. What MAN would wear pheasant pants?! The sales guy came up and started talking to us about them, and I finally said, "Would YOU wear these pants?" and he hemmed and hawed and said, "well, it would depend on where I was going," to which Susan wittily replied: "The only place would be if you were going to be beat up!" And then he admitted that he really wouldn't wear them. Another thing that was disturbing: We wanted to see how much they cost, so we looked all over for them and couldn't find them on the racks or shelves. Which meant one of two things: (1) They were SOLD OUT or (2) the only pair they got was on the mannequin. I fear it was the former. They were on sale for $90 something; they had been $150 something. OY. I am, without a shadow of a doubt, not a fashion trend person. I wear clothes for comfort. I can put together a nice outfit, but fashion is really not my thing. However, if pheasant pants for men is the new thing, then all I can say is EWWW. To make it worse, I read this online: "My wonderful wife was at the mall today and found those totally awesome Polo pheasant pants on sale! So she got them for me as an early Christmas present. :)" Married man in pheasant pants?! Maybe it's the new golf wear, but I think it's a sign of the apocolypse.

Decisions

"You know how one morning you wake up as an adult and you realize your entire life is based on a decision you made as a teenager?"
I just read that today and thought WOW. How true is that. If only I could get Alexander to understand. Of course no one would have made me understand it. But it's so true.

Embrace the Winter

I've read a few blogs lately and heard people comment about how much they hate Winter, they hate the cold, they hate the snow, blah blah blah. First of all, we live in Central Illinois. We have four seasons. We have Winter. It should come as no surprise. Of course I complain about the Summer, so I guess I should look at it from the other side. But think about it. The starkness of Winter makes us more appreciative of the lushness of Summer. I enjoy Winter. I like the lacy silhouettes of the trees without their leaves. I enjoy the grey days without the Sun. Probably wouldn't want it to be that way for long, but sometimes those days are important. It goes without saying that I love the snow. When it is snowing, I get a feeling in my core. It's like magic. I enjoy the brisk, cold weather. I am saying this from the warmth of my home and realize that there are those who are less fortunate than me. I love seeing all the birds at the bird feeder. So do the cats! I told Geo last night that is one of the reasons why I put seed out for the birds - to entertain the kitties. And the squirrels entertain Lucky (and drive her crazy. Not sure that's such a good thing.). I enjoy seeing all the birds, especially the Cardinals and the Juncos. Grandma Highball always said that when the Juncos were out we'd have snow. She's been pretty much on the mark with that prediction. I haven't seen many Chickadees. I'd love to see Cedar Waxwings, but we don't have any trees with berries on them, so not sure that I will see them. I enjoy seeing the snow covered fields and the dim light in the sky. And best of all - there aren't any frigging mosquitoes!! That's what I hate most about Summer. To be honest, I think I enjoy Winter more than Summer. Summer seems to carry with it expectations. Expectations to go and do things. In the Winter, you're allowed to hole up inside and hibernate. I love the feel of going inward, of being in the home, of contemplation.

A new pet peeve

Shampoo and conditioner bottles that don't have the words SHAMPOO and CONDITIONER printed in larger letters than the other words! When I'm standing in the shower, I don't want to have to read the whole damn bottle so I can figure out which is which.