I SUPPORT MARRIAGE EQUALITY

I participated in the “March on Springfield for Marriage Equality” rally on Tuesday, October 22, 2013. Why would I do that?! It was definitely a cold and gloomy day. Also quite rainy. I suffer from neuropathy and my leg already was aching; I knew I’d be hurting more if I went. I’m not a lesbian. So again, why did I participate? Why did I go out in the cold rain with an aching leg when I could have stayed in the warmth of my home with my loving husband?

I participated in support of the many friends I have who are “gay/lesbian” but, more important, are human beings just like you and me. One is an artist, a couple are teachers, a few work for the State, one is a lawyer, one is a postmaster, several work in healthcare. Some are family. Several had to marry in other states. A few have civil unions. A few have children, either biological or adopted, and nurture beautiful families. When I think of them, “gay” is not what defines them. They are regular people, just like you and me. I can tell you this for sure: My marriage and my lifestyle have never been threatened or ruined by their relationships.

I participated because I believe that love is love between two consenting adults and marriage is a fundamental human right. Same-sex couples cannot participate fully in our society if they are denied the legal rights and cultural privileges offered to heterosexual couples through marriage.

I participated because it saddens and sickens me to hear stories of people who cannot be in a hospital room with their loved ones when they are sick and/or dying, because they are "gay" and not “family.” Imagine for a moment if you had a child or spouse who was dying, and you could not be there with them. That’s just bullshit, isn’t it?!

I participated in honor of my parents’ gay friends – longtime family friends who were part of my life as I grew up – now long passed, who probably never even imagined the day would come when they could marry the person they loved and have equal rights.

I participated to support those who are afraid to be openly gay in a society that judges them by their sexual orientation. Imagine for a moment that you could not proclaim love for the person who means the most to you, in fear of judgment or persecution. What kind of society is that?

I participated because I believe gays/lesbians should have the same rights that you and I do to insurance, pensions and survivor benefits. When your spouse dies, you receive their pension and life insurance. Imagine for a moment if you built a life with someone for many years, they pass away, and you are denied the economic stability of their pension or life insurance because you were not allowed the right to be married. Again, more BS.

I participated because I don’t want to be on the sidelines, only posting my support on Facebook, talking the talk, but not walking the walk. I don’t want to be a fair-weather friend. I believe this is an important social justice issue and it’s time to give equality to all.

Even though I didn't actually march (I was part of the drumming), I was there, holding my sign that said “Marriage Equality For All”. I want my children, my grandchildren, my great grandchildren - all of my descendants - to know that I was there to support same sex marriage.

 )O(

MY MEMORY OF SEPTEMBER 11, 2001

It was a beautifully sunny, crisp fall-like morning. My Mother was seriously ill, and my sister Carolee and I were taking care of her. Carolee took care of her on the night shift while I did the day shift, so I could be home at night with Alex and George. Carolee and I always met as we changed shifts, discussing what was going on with Mom, what needed to be done, etc. That morning we didn't get a chance to talk much. As I walked into my Mom's kitchen, and the Today show was on the TV, as usual, I saw the two towers and smoke. It was right after the first tower had been hit; the second one hadn't been hit yet. I wondered what had happened, not recognizing the World Trade Center, and thinking it was in a foreign country. I went in to see my Mom and she was lying in bed watching the news. "Something's happened," she said.

The whole thing seemed so surreal, to begin with, being there with my severely ill Mother, not really knowing if she was going to make it from day-to-day. I, myself, was still reeling from a life changing injury that left me with permanent nerve damage, and shook my world upside down. Then seeing the tragedy on top of it, it was just so unreal. For a brief moment, I really thought the world as I knew it was coming to an end.

My first thought was Alex. I called the school and was assured everyone was OK. Called Susan and we decided school was the best place for Julia and Alex at the time. Called Geo and they were letting all government workers leave for the day, so he was going home. Made sure the rest of my people were safe and sound.

My Mom and I spent most of the day in her bed watching it all unfold. Suddenly she had a craving for bread pudding. She had been experiencing trouble eating, so whatever and whenever we could get her to eat was good. She came out into the kitchen with me and watched the endless news reports while I made bread pudding for her. Stirring the eggs and vanilla, cutting up the bread, strategically placing the pats of butter, plumping the raisins, liberally pouring on the cinnamon, nutmeg and sugar - it was comforting doing something "normal" when things were definitely anything but. We decided to call it Patriot Pudding. We were truly uncertain about what was going to happen, but we were together and, for that moment, we were safe and secure at home.

I will always associate 9/11 with my Mom and bread pudding. Side note: My Mother rallied from being sick that time, as she was known to do, and lived for three more years after that. She died on 11/9, at 9:11.

)O(